HESPERIDES
Yeah I caved and remade this. Read through if you want to know my persaonality disorder better
After coming to yet another unfortunate realization about myself, i realized there is probably something wrong with me to the point of no return and... no innate quality that lends itself to being fixed by nature or interaction? If that makes sense? I'm rotten and obsessive and cruel and love to overshare like crazy. To find a crevasse to stuff my excess into, or a host to carry on the disease of me. is that dramatic? yes. Is it objectively untrue? I don't know. I used to believe that I'd get better. one day; that all of my negative qualities were the result of my environment and not innate.But I haven't, haha. And it's been years. So I'm taking it unto myself to contain everything messy in here. A childish solution for a childish individual. also i had the url hoarded so i felt it kind of a waste to not do anything with it
about
i used to have so much in this section. i know that logically it was just because that was the predominant/normative culture on the side of the internet i was on, but I can't help but feel that it was also born out of, well, a desire to feel included and Known and Normal. Anyways, the rigamarole:
- she/he (which you know)
- bangladeshi american
- low empathy and prone to anger
general likes
i'm not really too into things nowadays ): I do really like how I set this carrd up in the past, though. 14 yo hesperides you were so cute and a visionary
rec me fics; i also don't mind reading drafts.
༒ idv
༒ orv
༒ genshin impact
media
༒ hxh
༒ soul eater
༒ atla/tlok
༒ tbhk
༒ the magnus archives
༒ death note
༒ vocaloid/utaite
༒ pokemon
dnfi:
[wan smile] well... look how the cookie crumbles
on this page i talk about a variety of things. it's very retweet heavy! but content straight from the dome includes a lot of ideation talk, occasional delusion, and frenzied thought patterns.
there's also quite a bit of nsfw content here. please be SUPER clear if you'd prefer to not see this content; I have an absolutely hell time with tone and cue
final thoughts, for what they're worth
I don't think I'll ever get better. I really don't know what's wrong. I want someone to cut me open and find monstrous internals, just to justify the feeling. Combined with my incredible pride and arrogance, though, more often than not the feeling just manifests as 'why doesn't anyone recognize my genius!!! you're all worthless!!!' which is unfortunately not something a real person can get away with as a fun quirk of personality. But, for what it's worth, I genuinely love all three of you- you mean a lot to me. thank you for bearing with me.
